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It’s a truth universally acknowledged that wanting to move on and actually doing it are two very different things.

Putting yourself out there can be incredibly intimidating, and no more so than when you’re coming out of a long-term relationship.

Stay positive, embrace the adventure, expect a few disappointments, and see your life as an unfolding story, one that will be worth telling. Keep an open mind, take a few deeps breaths, and go easy on yourself.

If you realize, mid-date, that you’re not ready to date, you can give yourself more time before pursuing anything further.

“Dating in midlife and beyond can be daunting,” says relationship psychologist Honey Langcaster-James.Do you understand what went wrong in your last relationship? Can you identify what a healthy relationship needs to look like for you?Give yourself the freedom of a little time and make sure your past is firmly in the past, along with the infamous “bitterness baggage,” before giving love a second chance. No, you don’t have to make every date a group date; just make sure you have good friends in your corner. Let the people nearest and dearest to you encourage and support you as you dive back into the dating game. Take a new class, get a new haircut, and eat healthier than ever.“I thought the recent strange behaviour and care with his phone was because he was planning a big surprise for our anniversary. “It was too complicated a set of feelings; the fury, the devastation, the rehashing of our lives together in the middle of the night, questioning every lovely moment we’d shared.It was a blur, but I emerged eight months later a stone heavier and feeling like I needed to do something to move on.” So Elizabeth tried online dating and, while she says it certainly had its frustrating moments, after eight months she met Andrew, 51 and they are planning to move in together in time for Christmas.It doesn’t matter how old you are or what your relationship history is, first dates are nerve-wracking.


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    It seems like a situation in which a shot or ten beforehand wouldn’t hurt…right?

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    It’s a different approach to a first date, but it’s something you’ll always remember.

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    Dear Anais, I’m a cis, straight white woman dating the man of my dreams.