We get a lot of questions from young Christian men and women who are “not yet married.” Their season of life awakens many desires and hopes, uncertainties and insecurities, and tricky pastoral questions.
To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.
They’re confident, self-sufficient, and reach their sexual peak long after men their age have passed theirs.
In sex, just like sports, it pays to play by the rules. In football, officials moved the restraining line from the 30-yard line to the 35, with the intention of increasing touchbacks. Using eye-tracking technology, scientists from the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction found that women are actually more likely to have wandering eyes than men.
And in basketball, officials dumped the no-dunk rule after fans complained that it made play less exciting. Women not only spent less time looking at a man’s face (when compared with men looking at women); they also moved more quickly onto his other body parts. “So take in her breasts or legs, but don’t dwell on them.” And make the most of your assets, too.
It also means every night is “date night.” So the way it used to work—with time to plan what you’d wear, where you’d take her, and so on—has changed. Keep a change of clothes at work, along with some deodorizing wipes and mouthwash, because who knows what’s in store.
“Sometimes women, like men, drop their standards so they can get what they want sooner,” Kerner says.